I haven't mentioned a whole lot about what K is up to over the past couple of weeks. I've been a bit distracted. Let me take a moment here to point out a couple of things.
She hasn't done well with all the craziness of the past week. She's hanging in there, but her schedule's off and she's had grandparents here a lot. Greg has been home, which is weird for her, but we were gone for three days at the hospital and since then we've been coming and going a lot. This is not part of our normal routine, to say the least. She had gotten to where she loved going to school and would basically kick me out of the classroom if I stopped to chat with her teacher when I dropped her off. The past couple of weeks she hasn't wanted to go and this morning she actually cried and clung to me for dear life (which, of course, set me off as well). Hopefully we'll be able to get her back into some type of routine and provide a little more consistent environment over the next few weeks. She needs it.
Meanwhile, she's starting to scare us a little with her crazy intelligence. I can't speak to what two year olds are supposed to do, but she seems to be making some pretty big leaps with her abilities. In addition to figuring out that she can climb just about anything, including the wall, she has suddenly started coloring in a more focused manner (scribbling over individual objects instead of just across the entire page) and drawing "people." I wouldn't have known they were people if she hadn't pointed to them and told me they were Mamaw and Papaw. She's also started asking to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse - but requesting specific episodes. And the kicker - she can use our Android tablet. Things we never taught her, like how to turn on the video player and watch MMC. I downloaded a few toddler games for her a few weeks ago but she's had trouble playing some of them, like the letter puzzles. Then one day this past week she started doing them with very little trouble at all. Now she can find the aps, start them, select which game she wants, and play them. Then she'll exit it and turn on a tv show. Seriously. I'm a little freaked out by this. Partially because it seems weird to let her use our phones and tablet, but she's pretty careful with them and I figure in her world using electronic devices is a skill she's going to need early on anyway.
I read a thing in Parenting Magazine the other night that said the average two year old should be able to make simple two word sentences. Ummm. My kid is making 5+ word sentences and combining them into conversations. She's very opinionated and likes to share those opinions verbally. She's also learning multiple-syllable words. Like chandelier. She learned that one in the lobby at the hospital. She also remembers songs, loves to sing them, and sometimes makes up her own songs and dances. And did I mention she's reading books to me? She can look through several of her favorite books and recite them to me, especially if they are rhyming books. The magazine also said she should be able to count up to three objects. She can get to ten, and sometimes higher although she tends to stall around 14. One of the toddler games she likes is connect the dots, and she can complete the ones with up to 23 dots.
This afternoon she had been playing puzzle games on my phone and apparently figured out how to send a text to my dad and emailed Greg...
And in the time it's taken me to type this she's taught herself how to adjust the volume on the videos on the tablet and downloaded two games from the market. Sigh. Hope they were free!
Anybody out there with a two year old know if this kind of stuff is normal? I really don't know...
Friday, January 20, 2012
A Brief Update on Luke
I know most of you have followed the updates on Facebook, but I wanted to post something just so I'll have the info later.
Luke's done great over the past few days. Wednesday night he got moved into one of the "private" little rooms in the NICU. Can I just take a moment and have appreciation for the fact we're at Baptist where they have private little rooms in the NICU, along with an awesome staff, calm atmosphere, and respectful policies? I love that we can visit any time around the clock except shift change (6:30-8 morning and night) AND that they will close the NICU to visitors if they have a new admission or any serious problem with one of their babies. A couple of times we've gone up there right as they were closing for an admit, and my mother-in-law had to leave once because they were admitting a baby. I'm ok with that. And if they have a serious complication they need to deal with, I totally respect the fact that they don't want visitors back there getting in the way. I'm sure we disrupted things quite a bit the day Luke was born and I'm glad they closed it so there weren't distractions while they got him stabilized. If it inconveniences me a little to have to wait or come back later, I'm ok with it.
Sorry for the little detour there. Anyway, since they put Luke in a room we were able to let Kaycie back to visit with him for a minute. She wanted to hold him but had to settle for holding his hand and helping me hold the bottle to feed him. Then she wanted to go back to the waiting room to play, because that's just way more fun. :)
He had an MRI on Tuesday and the word from the neurosurgeon was that he wasn't concerned by the size of the clot and didn't think it would have any long term effect. He couldn't tell if there was any subdural bleeding (inside the brain instead of on the perimeter) but if there was it was minimal and shouldn't cause any additional problems. He wants to do a follow up MRI in a month and will be seeing Luke for additional visits after he is discharged. I feel good about that.
Since then he's gone two nights without any major breathing episodes requiring oxygen, so today the doc said we could start the countdown. Today is Day 1. He has to have five good days before they'll send him home, so if all goes well we're looking at next Wednesday, exactly two weeks from when he was born.
I'm pretty excited about that.
Today he weighed in at 8lbs 13oz. He's a growing boy. :)
Earlier this week the we began discussing the financial issue of this little emergency detour. It won't be cheap, but we'll find a way to deal with it. The part of the discussion that hit me pretty hard was when Greg pointed out that it's a really good thing we didn't buy the house we wanted a year or so ago.
We were very, very, very close to buying that house. It was a little over our budget and it would have made things pretty tight, but we could have managed. It was a great house. Perfect for what we wanted, really. The layout. A big extra "office" area. Large living room. Big master bath. Awesome deck off the back. Great neighborhood... But we just couldn't get comfortable with buying it. When the guy who had a contract on our house kept having to delay because he couldn't get his financial records in order, we took advantage of the opportunity to back out of both contracts. It was so hard to do at the time, because we wanted that house and we really really wanted out of this one. But it just. Didn't. Feel. Right. I've never regretted making that decision, but it always seemed weird that it felt so wrong when everything was perfect. I think I'm starting to understand. Now we're facing some monster bills, but we have some extra savings and a little extra room in our budget. We also have a paid for house that we can refinance if we need to. Medical bills of this nature can bankrupt people. I know that too well. But right now it's not real high on our list of priority concerns. We will take care of it one way or another. I can't tell you how nice it is to not have to freak out about that.
Luke's done great over the past few days. Wednesday night he got moved into one of the "private" little rooms in the NICU. Can I just take a moment and have appreciation for the fact we're at Baptist where they have private little rooms in the NICU, along with an awesome staff, calm atmosphere, and respectful policies? I love that we can visit any time around the clock except shift change (6:30-8 morning and night) AND that they will close the NICU to visitors if they have a new admission or any serious problem with one of their babies. A couple of times we've gone up there right as they were closing for an admit, and my mother-in-law had to leave once because they were admitting a baby. I'm ok with that. And if they have a serious complication they need to deal with, I totally respect the fact that they don't want visitors back there getting in the way. I'm sure we disrupted things quite a bit the day Luke was born and I'm glad they closed it so there weren't distractions while they got him stabilized. If it inconveniences me a little to have to wait or come back later, I'm ok with it.
Sorry for the little detour there. Anyway, since they put Luke in a room we were able to let Kaycie back to visit with him for a minute. She wanted to hold him but had to settle for holding his hand and helping me hold the bottle to feed him. Then she wanted to go back to the waiting room to play, because that's just way more fun. :)
He had an MRI on Tuesday and the word from the neurosurgeon was that he wasn't concerned by the size of the clot and didn't think it would have any long term effect. He couldn't tell if there was any subdural bleeding (inside the brain instead of on the perimeter) but if there was it was minimal and shouldn't cause any additional problems. He wants to do a follow up MRI in a month and will be seeing Luke for additional visits after he is discharged. I feel good about that.
Since then he's gone two nights without any major breathing episodes requiring oxygen, so today the doc said we could start the countdown. Today is Day 1. He has to have five good days before they'll send him home, so if all goes well we're looking at next Wednesday, exactly two weeks from when he was born.
I'm pretty excited about that.
Today he weighed in at 8lbs 13oz. He's a growing boy. :)
Earlier this week the we began discussing the financial issue of this little emergency detour. It won't be cheap, but we'll find a way to deal with it. The part of the discussion that hit me pretty hard was when Greg pointed out that it's a really good thing we didn't buy the house we wanted a year or so ago.
We were very, very, very close to buying that house. It was a little over our budget and it would have made things pretty tight, but we could have managed. It was a great house. Perfect for what we wanted, really. The layout. A big extra "office" area. Large living room. Big master bath. Awesome deck off the back. Great neighborhood... But we just couldn't get comfortable with buying it. When the guy who had a contract on our house kept having to delay because he couldn't get his financial records in order, we took advantage of the opportunity to back out of both contracts. It was so hard to do at the time, because we wanted that house and we really really wanted out of this one. But it just. Didn't. Feel. Right. I've never regretted making that decision, but it always seemed weird that it felt so wrong when everything was perfect. I think I'm starting to understand. Now we're facing some monster bills, but we have some extra savings and a little extra room in our budget. We also have a paid for house that we can refinance if we need to. Medical bills of this nature can bankrupt people. I know that too well. But right now it's not real high on our list of priority concerns. We will take care of it one way or another. I can't tell you how nice it is to not have to freak out about that.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Rain, Rain Go Away
I'm listening to it pour down rain outside. Normally, a nice rainy (tornado-free) day is very pleasant for me. I like the white noise effect of it. Today it's just dreary, which matches my mood perfectly.
I talked to Dr. Miller on the phone this morning and didn't hang up feeling encouraged. The truth is, I'm running out of things to be positive about. Every day I've made a big effort to focus on the good things that happened - Luke started taking a bottle, he got a tube out, a test came back negative, he was taken off oxygen... There's been little things progressing each day, culminating with getting him off the warmer table and in a portable crib yesterday. But he still can't go 24 hours without an apnea spell.
Today Doc basically recounted what we already knew, what wasn't wrong, and brought up some things that might or might not be going on. The neurosurgeon he is consulting said he couldn't determine if there was any bleeding actually within the brain or if there was any brain matter affected. He said we wouldn't likely be able to see that until the clot around the brain dissolves. He also mentioned the possibility that there could be an unusual cluster of blood vessels in that area of the brain that caused the bleed. The neurosurgeon did request an MRI which they were going to try to schedule for today. They won't have results from that until tomorrow at the absolute earliest, since the neurosurgeon reading it is at another hospital.
The problem is, of course, he's still having episodes where he isn't breathing very well and his oxygen saturation levels drop dangerously low. And he doesn't always recover on his own. He can't go home while he's still doing that. I asked the big question today - are we looking at days, weeks, or months? The answer was what I expected - they don't know. BUT, he really didn't anticipate it to be months. Which leaves us at weeks. One? Two? Three? Dunno.
I talked to Dr. Miller on the phone this morning and didn't hang up feeling encouraged. The truth is, I'm running out of things to be positive about. Every day I've made a big effort to focus on the good things that happened - Luke started taking a bottle, he got a tube out, a test came back negative, he was taken off oxygen... There's been little things progressing each day, culminating with getting him off the warmer table and in a portable crib yesterday. But he still can't go 24 hours without an apnea spell.
Today Doc basically recounted what we already knew, what wasn't wrong, and brought up some things that might or might not be going on. The neurosurgeon he is consulting said he couldn't determine if there was any bleeding actually within the brain or if there was any brain matter affected. He said we wouldn't likely be able to see that until the clot around the brain dissolves. He also mentioned the possibility that there could be an unusual cluster of blood vessels in that area of the brain that caused the bleed. The neurosurgeon did request an MRI which they were going to try to schedule for today. They won't have results from that until tomorrow at the absolute earliest, since the neurosurgeon reading it is at another hospital.
The problem is, of course, he's still having episodes where he isn't breathing very well and his oxygen saturation levels drop dangerously low. And he doesn't always recover on his own. He can't go home while he's still doing that. I asked the big question today - are we looking at days, weeks, or months? The answer was what I expected - they don't know. BUT, he really didn't anticipate it to be months. Which leaves us at weeks. One? Two? Three? Dunno.
Monday, January 16, 2012
The Good, The Bad, and The Awesome
Sigh.
It's so nice to have Luke off the warmer table and into a crib. We can just grab him and pick him up and snuggle without a production of carefully detaching and reattaching tubes and wires and having to be careful not to pull anything out... I could have held him all day. Greg got to hold him for the first time (they took him so fast after delivery that I was the only one who got him, and only for a very few minutes) and my mom got to hold him. AND I got to change two diapers and feed him his dinner! A good day, indeed.
The bad - he had five episodes last night where his breathing got low enough to require significant oxygen intervention. The doc is concerned that he's still struggling at this point. He should be recovering on his own, and he does for the most part all day. He only appears to be slipping while he sleeps at night. We left a message for Dr. Miller to call us sometime tomorrow, since we'll never catch him doing rounds, to get an idea of where we are and what our expectations should be. People keep asking when he'll get to come home - no idea. We'd originally hoped for tomorrow, then Wednesday, then the weekend... We just don't have a clue at this point. He's doing awesome in all aspects except the nighttime apnea. I told him today that if he'd start breathing right and come home I'd give him a honeybun. I don't think he was buying it.
For a random Kaycie story today... two hours after I put her to bed she was still in her room jabbering about something. I went in and asked her what she was doing:
Me: What are you doing, baby?
Kaycie: Reading books.
Me: What?? (Walking to her bed)
Kaycie: Kaycie reading Green Eggs and Ham.
Sure enough. She was sitting up in the bed in the dark reading Green Eggs and Ham. Alrighty.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
What Day Is It?
I sat down at my computer last night and realized I'd started two different blog posts over the past few days but got interrupted so much I never finished either. I gave up on those and started over, although I only have a few minutes before I need to eat/rest/pump/go to the hospital/play with my toddler.
Meanwhile, we've had so many different up and downs over the past two days that I don't even know where to start. One question we've gotten a lot is about why we haven't been able to really touch Luke or interact with him. The bleed leaked into the spinal fluid surrounding his brain which caused serious sensitivity throughout his body. Not to mention that when you feel like crap you just don't want people messing with you. I can sympathize with that. The nurses said it's a lot like the preemies they get, they're just super sensitive in general. Light, noise, touch, any of it can agitate them. Being able to touch him a while yesterday afternoon was awesome, but the next visit he was very agitated and wouldn't let us touch at all. We were really discouraged last night because he wasn't tolerating anything. Today we went in and much to our surprise he was doing well enough for me to hold him. AND he took two feedings by mouth today, after having to have an NG tube put in yesterday because every time they tried to feed him he would try to stop breathing. I guess eating and breathing at the same time was too much for the little guy yesterday. Today he gobbled his food in no time.
I have no expectation for what we will find when we go back tonight. None. He may be awesome and let us hold him again, he may be upset, not breathing well, and not even let us whisper around him. Every visit is a whole different world right now. On the bright side, they took away the nasal oxygen tube. They're still having to assist him every now and then when his breathing gets shallow and he gets distressed, but he's done well without it so far today. If he can just start eating consistently and stop the shallow breathing and distress, we could bring him home middle of next week. I'm not harboring any real big hopes for that, he's got a long way to go, but anything is possible. This afternoon is the first time I've really though it might happen sooner rather than later.
Oh, and he's gained a couple of ounces. I know newborns are supposed to lose weight the first few days, but not my little guy. I call him the giant 8lb elephant in the room. His neighbor is 2lbs 3oz. The kid closest to him in size that I've seen so far is about 4lbs. Yesterday a lady was taking one home after 2 months that was less than 4lbs still. Seriously. I have a giant among tiny babies in the NICU. The nurse today said they were going to have to hunt him up some big boy diapers because he was quickly outgrowing the newborns one they had! Can't imagine they keep very many size 1's in stock!
Meanwhile, we've had so many different up and downs over the past two days that I don't even know where to start. One question we've gotten a lot is about why we haven't been able to really touch Luke or interact with him. The bleed leaked into the spinal fluid surrounding his brain which caused serious sensitivity throughout his body. Not to mention that when you feel like crap you just don't want people messing with you. I can sympathize with that. The nurses said it's a lot like the preemies they get, they're just super sensitive in general. Light, noise, touch, any of it can agitate them. Being able to touch him a while yesterday afternoon was awesome, but the next visit he was very agitated and wouldn't let us touch at all. We were really discouraged last night because he wasn't tolerating anything. Today we went in and much to our surprise he was doing well enough for me to hold him. AND he took two feedings by mouth today, after having to have an NG tube put in yesterday because every time they tried to feed him he would try to stop breathing. I guess eating and breathing at the same time was too much for the little guy yesterday. Today he gobbled his food in no time.
I have no expectation for what we will find when we go back tonight. None. He may be awesome and let us hold him again, he may be upset, not breathing well, and not even let us whisper around him. Every visit is a whole different world right now. On the bright side, they took away the nasal oxygen tube. They're still having to assist him every now and then when his breathing gets shallow and he gets distressed, but he's done well without it so far today. If he can just start eating consistently and stop the shallow breathing and distress, we could bring him home middle of next week. I'm not harboring any real big hopes for that, he's got a long way to go, but anything is possible. This afternoon is the first time I've really though it might happen sooner rather than later.
Oh, and he's gained a couple of ounces. I know newborns are supposed to lose weight the first few days, but not my little guy. I call him the giant 8lb elephant in the room. His neighbor is 2lbs 3oz. The kid closest to him in size that I've seen so far is about 4lbs. Yesterday a lady was taking one home after 2 months that was less than 4lbs still. Seriously. I have a giant among tiny babies in the NICU. The nurse today said they were going to have to hunt him up some big boy diapers because he was quickly outgrowing the newborns one they had! Can't imagine they keep very many size 1's in stock!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Update on Luke
Today was a good day.
Luke is off the vent AND off the nasal oxygen tube. He's resting well and let me touch him earlier today. He'd been getting very upset and having minor episodes with his breathing with any stimulation last night and this morning, so letting me touch him without freaking out was a big deal. After all he's been through the last 24 hours, I can't blame him. I wouldn't want anybody touching me either.
As we've mentioned on Facebook today, after having a CT scan of his brain last night they found that he did have a bleed. The doc believes it is between the brain and the skull and not IN the brain, which is good. They also said his blood count hadn't changed today, leading them to believe it's clotted and not still bleeding. They will be doing another CT to confirm that, hopefully that will be tomorrow. The doc also said he wanted to consult with a neurologist to make sure they were on the right track and a hematologist from UMMC to see if there were any other tests they should be running to look for a possible blood condition that could have caused the trauma.Both of those will hopefully happen tomorrow. Right now they have no idea how it happened. Normally they only see this kind of thing with difficult deliveries or situations where suction is needed during the delivery, all of which would have applied to Kaycie and none of which apply to Luke... Neither the neonatologist nor my OB can explain it; they're a bit baffled. Nothing happened during the birth that should have caused a brain bleed.
So now what? Well, we wait. I'm hoping they'll get to talk to all the consults tomorrow and let us know what they think before I'm discharged, but preliminary discussions lead us to believe they haven't seen anything that would provide any additional answers yet. If he's tolerating stimulation a little better tomorrow I should (fingers crossed) get to hold him. Hopefully by Saturday they should have the cultures back on the infection tests (precautionary) and be able to rule those out and take him off antibiotics. Eventually they will be able to take out his IV and other tubes and move him to one of the glass rooms so we can be a little more comfy. They're still waiting for him to show an interest in eating so they can try to feed him, but he's getting what he needs through his IV in the meantime. He has to figure out the feeding thing before he can go home, but that's not a major concern right now. He's resting well which is more important for the healing process right now. The best news from the doc today was that as long as the bleed has stopped and dissolves itself, we shouldn't see any long term effects.
Meanwhile, I'd like to point out that my son is already acting like his Uncle Bill. He was more or less arrested by the cops for mischief last night. When they took him to the CT they forgot to remove his security band (which we call the LoJack) and set off the baby-theft alarm. Security ended up having to escort him all the way to the CT, wait on him, and escort him back to his bed before they could turn the alarm off. Yes, this started at 11pm and took about 40 minutes. I'm sure the other guests here were loving us last night!
I'd also like to say that the staff at Baptist has been awesome. They've taken excellent care of me and Luke. The first person to come in and tell us there was a problem was the nurse from the transition nursery. She walked in and immediately remembered us from when she had us in childbirth class two and a half years ago when I was pregnant with Kaycie. She was concerned but calm as she told us that there were some issues and he had been taken to the NICU. This morning we found out that after she went home she called back up here to check on him a couple of times and had gone to see him before she checked on us first thing. We also found out that Luke had her in tears when he kept having episodes and they were having trouble reviving him. Three more times last night we had an update from either the NP or the neonatal doc, who they called to come back in and stayed to check on Luke's tests. From the time they told us there was a problem, around 7pm, it took about 4 hours for them to run enough tests and come back to us with a probable cause and a plan. And when we went in to see Luke this morning they told us that my OB had already been by to check on him as well. My poor nurse today was very concerned and checked on him numerous times. These people have been seriously worried about getting my little boy better!
Luke is off the vent AND off the nasal oxygen tube. He's resting well and let me touch him earlier today. He'd been getting very upset and having minor episodes with his breathing with any stimulation last night and this morning, so letting me touch him without freaking out was a big deal. After all he's been through the last 24 hours, I can't blame him. I wouldn't want anybody touching me either.
As we've mentioned on Facebook today, after having a CT scan of his brain last night they found that he did have a bleed. The doc believes it is between the brain and the skull and not IN the brain, which is good. They also said his blood count hadn't changed today, leading them to believe it's clotted and not still bleeding. They will be doing another CT to confirm that, hopefully that will be tomorrow. The doc also said he wanted to consult with a neurologist to make sure they were on the right track and a hematologist from UMMC to see if there were any other tests they should be running to look for a possible blood condition that could have caused the trauma.Both of those will hopefully happen tomorrow. Right now they have no idea how it happened. Normally they only see this kind of thing with difficult deliveries or situations where suction is needed during the delivery, all of which would have applied to Kaycie and none of which apply to Luke... Neither the neonatologist nor my OB can explain it; they're a bit baffled. Nothing happened during the birth that should have caused a brain bleed.
So now what? Well, we wait. I'm hoping they'll get to talk to all the consults tomorrow and let us know what they think before I'm discharged, but preliminary discussions lead us to believe they haven't seen anything that would provide any additional answers yet. If he's tolerating stimulation a little better tomorrow I should (fingers crossed) get to hold him. Hopefully by Saturday they should have the cultures back on the infection tests (precautionary) and be able to rule those out and take him off antibiotics. Eventually they will be able to take out his IV and other tubes and move him to one of the glass rooms so we can be a little more comfy. They're still waiting for him to show an interest in eating so they can try to feed him, but he's getting what he needs through his IV in the meantime. He has to figure out the feeding thing before he can go home, but that's not a major concern right now. He's resting well which is more important for the healing process right now. The best news from the doc today was that as long as the bleed has stopped and dissolves itself, we shouldn't see any long term effects.
Meanwhile, I'd like to point out that my son is already acting like his Uncle Bill. He was more or less arrested by the cops for mischief last night. When they took him to the CT they forgot to remove his security band (which we call the LoJack) and set off the baby-theft alarm. Security ended up having to escort him all the way to the CT, wait on him, and escort him back to his bed before they could turn the alarm off. Yes, this started at 11pm and took about 40 minutes. I'm sure the other guests here were loving us last night!
I'd also like to say that the staff at Baptist has been awesome. They've taken excellent care of me and Luke. The first person to come in and tell us there was a problem was the nurse from the transition nursery. She walked in and immediately remembered us from when she had us in childbirth class two and a half years ago when I was pregnant with Kaycie. She was concerned but calm as she told us that there were some issues and he had been taken to the NICU. This morning we found out that after she went home she called back up here to check on him a couple of times and had gone to see him before she checked on us first thing. We also found out that Luke had her in tears when he kept having episodes and they were having trouble reviving him. Three more times last night we had an update from either the NP or the neonatal doc, who they called to come back in and stayed to check on Luke's tests. From the time they told us there was a problem, around 7pm, it took about 4 hours for them to run enough tests and come back to us with a probable cause and a plan. And when we went in to see Luke this morning they told us that my OB had already been by to check on him as well. My poor nurse today was very concerned and checked on him numerous times. These people have been seriously worried about getting my little boy better!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Welcome, Luke! (Updated)
Baby Luke is here! He arrived at 2:08pm weighing in at 8lbs 5oz (one ounce under Kaycie's birth weight) and 19 3/4 inches.
Kaycie was fascinated by Baby Luke. She wanted to hold him. She wanted to touch him. She said he's "MY baby Luke!" I suspect this fascination will last exactly until we get him home, and then she'll change her mind!
Unfortunately, he was having some issues breathing when he arrived. They thought he had some fluid on his lungs but while the nurses were monitoring him in the transition nursery he turned blue. Three times. So he had to make a little trip to the NICU. We're waiting to hear from the NP about exactly what they think is wrong. Could be that he is just big and moving his head around sometimes blocks his airway. Could be his little lungs aren't quite fully developed. Could be an infection. Could be a dozen other things. I refuse to panic until we know more. I can't freak out over so many possibilities, so it's better to just wait. They said it would probably be close to 9 before we talked to anybody, so I'm trying to kill time on my computer. I'll update this post when we know something. In the meantime, if I'd know what was going on I would have declined the percocet. I'm getting woozy and need to keep my head clear.
UPDATE:
Soooo...
We still don't know what's wrong, but we have some guesses and are working on getting it figured out. They are taking precautionary measures against infection because his white blood cell count was high, although the ratio of immature to mature cells wasn't really out of wack. They did a lumbar puncture to check for meningitis and will be putting him on antibiotics until they get all the cultures back in a couple of days. During the lumbar puncture they found blood in the fluid that didn't clear out, so the neonatal doc was concerned about a possible small brain hemorrhage. He's getting an echocardiogram as we speak and is being scheduled for a CT to look at the brain and check for bleeds. Doc said that can cause irritation including the breathing problems he's having.
Meanwhile, he's on a ventilator to help him keep breathing due to a bit of a panic in the NICU when they couldn't get him jump started earlier. The plan right now is to keep him for five days after he's off the vent and not having episodes. We haven't seen him since 3pm when they took him to the transition nursery in a bit of a rush because of the concerns about his breathing. Waiting and waiting and waiting for them to finish the tests so we can go see him in NICU.
This is going to be one hell of a long week.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Letter to Kaycie on the Eve of Big Sisterhood
Dear Kaycie,
Tomorrow's a big day, but you don't realize that yet. Tomorrow you'll be the big sister of a little baby brother named Luke. You're not going to know what to make of this little guy (much like we didn't know what to make of you when you were first born!) but eventually you'll come to find himloud annoying frustrating fascinating. In a year or two he'll be big enough to play with you and talk to you and you'll have all kinds of fun together. In the meantime, yes, he will cry a lot. And as he grows and learns he will take your toys and stick them in his mouth or throw them. You'll get mad at him, but there comes a time in every little girls' life when she has to learn to share. This is your time.
It's my hope that you'll be friends and playmates and defenders of each other. It's my hope that you'll learn to help each other and find joy in each others company. As a little sister to a big brother, I know better than to think you'll always like each other, but I know you'll always love each other. You'll learn to have each others backs when things get tough. Because you're family, and that's what family does. You'll learn what "unconditional love" really means as you support each other through bad decisions and stupid mistakes. And you'll fight, and scream and look forward to time apart. You'll be jealous of each other and scream unfair when you think you're being treated differently. But in the end, you'll always know that no matter what, you have somebody else in your corner.
We're going to have a rough few weeks ahead, Baby Girl. Bear with us as we learn to be a family of four. Thankfully you'll have grandparents here to help out. Mom will be out of commission for a while, unable to play and give you the attention you need, but Dad will be here for a few weeks to help pick up the slack. You'll have to learn how to be nice to baby Luke, which won't be easy for you right now. But trust me, some day soon you'll love him and think he's the greatest new toy ever.
No matter what happens over the next few months, know that we love you just as much as ever. Having a baby brother doesn't mean that you have to share our love, just that we'll have more of it to go around.
I love you sweet girl. And I love the girl you're learning to be.
Mom
Tomorrow's a big day, but you don't realize that yet. Tomorrow you'll be the big sister of a little baby brother named Luke. You're not going to know what to make of this little guy (much like we didn't know what to make of you when you were first born!) but eventually you'll come to find him
It's my hope that you'll be friends and playmates and defenders of each other. It's my hope that you'll learn to help each other and find joy in each others company. As a little sister to a big brother, I know better than to think you'll always like each other, but I know you'll always love each other. You'll learn to have each others backs when things get tough. Because you're family, and that's what family does. You'll learn what "unconditional love" really means as you support each other through bad decisions and stupid mistakes. And you'll fight, and scream and look forward to time apart. You'll be jealous of each other and scream unfair when you think you're being treated differently. But in the end, you'll always know that no matter what, you have somebody else in your corner.
We're going to have a rough few weeks ahead, Baby Girl. Bear with us as we learn to be a family of four. Thankfully you'll have grandparents here to help out. Mom will be out of commission for a while, unable to play and give you the attention you need, but Dad will be here for a few weeks to help pick up the slack. You'll have to learn how to be nice to baby Luke, which won't be easy for you right now. But trust me, some day soon you'll love him and think he's the greatest new toy ever.
No matter what happens over the next few months, know that we love you just as much as ever. Having a baby brother doesn't mean that you have to share our love, just that we'll have more of it to go around.
I love you sweet girl. And I love the girl you're learning to be.
Mom
Friday, January 6, 2012
What I've Been Reading (or not)
I've been putting this post off for a while hoping to finish one more book before I did it. Reality check - not gonna happen any time soon. That said, there's not much on the list but it's what I've been reading since Thanksgiving!
Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman - This was what I call a "Southern Women" novel. It's about a young girl born in Ohio to a disturbed mother from Georgia. She ends up going to live with family in Georgia and learns about what good, strong, old fashioned Southern women are like. This type of novel really needs a genre of its own. That said, it was a fast, easy read and enjoyable, if a little predictable overall. I started it and finished it Thanksgiving weekend, courtesy of having plenty of family around to entertain my child.
Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins - Technically, these are considered young adult novels since the main characters are all teenagers and it deals with a lot of teen-related themes. That aside, they were pretty good. I liked the earlier books better than the last, but if you start them you will read all three. They take place in a futuristic, post-apocalyptic America that has been whittled down to 12 districts along a stretch of the midwest. As a reminder of the war that destroyed our society, the governement instituted the Hunger Games, where one male and one female child age 12-18 from each district is chosen by lottery to represent the district in a highly staged fight survival. The last one alive wins. It's a brutal system, and the games get a little graphic at times, but I thought the characters were well developed, the plot was interesting (until the last book, where it struggled a bit) and the relationships are complex. It's been a while since I've really enjoyed any YA lit, but this one didn't read like a teen book. It was good. (And I have all 3 on my Kindle, if anybody wants to "borrow" them. I just have to figure out how to lend things!)
That's it. That's all I've read. Sad. I have Cutting for Stone (and a couple of others) on my bedside table but haven't gotten past page 5 yet. Maybe when I have two kids that nap reliably I can try again. I also have at least 15 books on my Kindle to read. I'll get there one day, right?
Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman - This was what I call a "Southern Women" novel. It's about a young girl born in Ohio to a disturbed mother from Georgia. She ends up going to live with family in Georgia and learns about what good, strong, old fashioned Southern women are like. This type of novel really needs a genre of its own. That said, it was a fast, easy read and enjoyable, if a little predictable overall. I started it and finished it Thanksgiving weekend, courtesy of having plenty of family around to entertain my child.
Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins - Technically, these are considered young adult novels since the main characters are all teenagers and it deals with a lot of teen-related themes. That aside, they were pretty good. I liked the earlier books better than the last, but if you start them you will read all three. They take place in a futuristic, post-apocalyptic America that has been whittled down to 12 districts along a stretch of the midwest. As a reminder of the war that destroyed our society, the governement instituted the Hunger Games, where one male and one female child age 12-18 from each district is chosen by lottery to represent the district in a highly staged fight survival. The last one alive wins. It's a brutal system, and the games get a little graphic at times, but I thought the characters were well developed, the plot was interesting (until the last book, where it struggled a bit) and the relationships are complex. It's been a while since I've really enjoyed any YA lit, but this one didn't read like a teen book. It was good. (And I have all 3 on my Kindle, if anybody wants to "borrow" them. I just have to figure out how to lend things!)
That's it. That's all I've read. Sad. I have Cutting for Stone (and a couple of others) on my bedside table but haven't gotten past page 5 yet. Maybe when I have two kids that nap reliably I can try again. I also have at least 15 books on my Kindle to read. I'll get there one day, right?
Resolutions
I was reading through a backlog of posts on my Bloglines feed today and noticed a lot of "New Year's Resolution" posts. I can honestly say it's January 6 and I haven't put a lick of thought into resolutions. Then again, I rarely do. But this year, naturally, I've had other things on my mind and frankly I know better than to think I'll be able to stick to any kind of plan over the next few months.
If I were inclined to resolve to do something this year, it might look something like this:
1. Sleep. Eventually.
2. Make a point to give Kaycie special attention, in spite of the newness and demands of MicroTot.
3. Give MicroTot special attention, in spite of the second-child-syndrome.
4. Give my husband special attention, in spite of the insanity of having two kids under 3 in our house.
5. Make waffles.
6. Survive.
That's all I've got. Sure, I need to eat better, but I know there will be a lot of white bags in our house over the next few months, like it or not. I'd like to think I could work in an exercise routine, not to lose weight (apparently I'm on the pregnancy diet again) but just to be healthier. Not likely to happen any time soon. I dream of getting organized and clearing clutter out of my house, but at this point that's laughable. At this point, I want to make it to next Christmas alive and fairly healthy and be able to say my kids are not only still alive and fairly healthy, but happy and developing on their own schedule. That'll be enough this year.
If I were inclined to resolve to do something this year, it might look something like this:
1. Sleep. Eventually.
2. Make a point to give Kaycie special attention, in spite of the newness and demands of MicroTot.
3. Give MicroTot special attention, in spite of the second-child-syndrome.
4. Give my husband special attention, in spite of the insanity of having two kids under 3 in our house.
5. Make waffles.
6. Survive.
That's all I've got. Sure, I need to eat better, but I know there will be a lot of white bags in our house over the next few months, like it or not. I'd like to think I could work in an exercise routine, not to lose weight (apparently I'm on the pregnancy diet again) but just to be healthier. Not likely to happen any time soon. I dream of getting organized and clearing clutter out of my house, but at this point that's laughable. At this point, I want to make it to next Christmas alive and fairly healthy and be able to say my kids are not only still alive and fairly healthy, but happy and developing on their own schedule. That'll be enough this year.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Fair Warning and MT's 38 Week Update
There will be no more coherent posts between now and MT's birth. And there likely won't be many after for a while. Not that I won't try to post, just don't expect any that make much sense.
I have really made an effort to start this year with less whining and a more positive attitude. Except now my kid has bronchitis, a sinus infection, and an ear infection. And I'm right behind her. I feel like death, I'm giving birth to this kid in less than a week, contractions are getting stronger (although not consistent) and if it's not hard enough trying to sleep and function at 38 weeks pregnant, I can't breathe and wake up coughing half the night. Seriously. Ok, I'm done whining. I'll keep the rest to myself.
So this week was our last OB appointment. I can't say I'm sorry to see those go. Going every week, especially during December when the clinic is packed and it takes forever to get in to see the doc, was wearing me down. The sonogram suggested MT was weighing in at 8lbs 2oz, but I'm going to point out that we had a different tech this time and it was the same one that measured him so big the first time in December. We think she tends to measure them bigger than the other one. It's all a guess anyway. I had progressed to a whopping 1cm. Woo. Most importantly, I got the trifecta of sinus ickies defense - decadron, rocephin, and a Z pack. I was hoping it would have helped more by now, but not so much. I have a ton of last minute stuff I want to get done and it's just not happening when I feel so awful.
I also got my reservation for next Wednesday at the Hospital for Women. We have to be there at 5:30am and I'll be under gremlin rules - no food after midnight. Here's hoping my ickies are totally gone by then, or else this is going to be way worse than I anticipate!
I have really made an effort to start this year with less whining and a more positive attitude. Except now my kid has bronchitis, a sinus infection, and an ear infection. And I'm right behind her. I feel like death, I'm giving birth to this kid in less than a week, contractions are getting stronger (although not consistent) and if it's not hard enough trying to sleep and function at 38 weeks pregnant, I can't breathe and wake up coughing half the night. Seriously. Ok, I'm done whining. I'll keep the rest to myself.
So this week was our last OB appointment. I can't say I'm sorry to see those go. Going every week, especially during December when the clinic is packed and it takes forever to get in to see the doc, was wearing me down. The sonogram suggested MT was weighing in at 8lbs 2oz, but I'm going to point out that we had a different tech this time and it was the same one that measured him so big the first time in December. We think she tends to measure them bigger than the other one. It's all a guess anyway. I had progressed to a whopping 1cm. Woo. Most importantly, I got the trifecta of sinus ickies defense - decadron, rocephin, and a Z pack. I was hoping it would have helped more by now, but not so much. I have a ton of last minute stuff I want to get done and it's just not happening when I feel so awful.
I also got my reservation for next Wednesday at the Hospital for Women. We have to be there at 5:30am and I'll be under gremlin rules - no food after midnight. Here's hoping my ickies are totally gone by then, or else this is going to be way worse than I anticipate!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Gaaahhhhh!
So I mentioned in yesterday's post (and on FB) that I'd been getting "the look" and comments from people who fear that I will go into labor in their presence. We call this the "Brian Effect," since when I was pregnant with K I was forbidden to continue our Wednesday Lunch tradition at about 7 months because our friend Brian was afraid I'd go into labor. Specifically, he was afraid my water would break and it would get on his shoes. I'm not making that up. Anyway, hold on to that thought for a couple of paragraphs while I explain why it's relevant...
The plan for this weekend was that my brother and future SIL was going to pick up K on Friday, take her to my parents for the weekend, and drop her off on the way home today. Last night Greg made the suggestion that instead that K stay at my parents and we'd go get her later in the day or early Monday morning. Since my mom has to work on Monday I thought going tonight was the better plan. We can spend the night and come back in the morning, making the drive a little easier on me. I swore at Thanksgiving that I wasn't going to travel any more until after MicroTot arrived, and I haven't, but the lure of a few more leisurely hours to finish up a couple of things, eat a nice meal, and do a little more last minute errands in the Dogwood area (on the way to my parents' house) seems worth the couple of hours of discomfort during the drive. Plus hopefully she'll still be preoccupied with her grandparents tonight and I'll have one more night of not having to sit in the floor (ouch) playing whatever or being used as a jungle gym. Seems like a worthy trade to me.
My mom called a few minutes ago to make sure I still felt up to it. My brother and Brooke hadn't left yet, they could still drop her off, and apparently my dad was concerned about me coming.
Yes, my dad gave me "the look." He's afraid I'll go into labor at his house. Or that we'll break down on the side of the road. Sigh. Apparently I'm the only one not concerned about really going into labor. Yes, I've been having some random contractions most evenings, but not consistently or often. Yes, they are getting stronger, I woke up from one last night for the first time. But even if I did start having regular contractions, I'm pretty sure I could make the hour and half drive to the hospital. If my water breaks, I'd have even more time since they'd probably have to induce contractions at that point. The hospital in Philly, where my parents live, doesn't even have OB, everybody who lives there and has a kid has to drive somewhere else to do it, usually Meridian or Jackson. It'll be ok. I can't believe my dad is worried about me going into labor at his house!
That said, you all know that I hate packing. My mom has been on me for a week or more about packing a hospital bag. Ummm... I currently have two pair of pants I can still wear with some small level of comfort. I only have a handful of long sleeve shirts. If I pack myself clothes, I'll be pantless a few days a week between now and then. Of course, that's assuming I'll be wearing the same pants when I leave the hospital. I probably won't. But what will I be wearing? Who knows. Last time I couldn't wear my pre-pregnancy pants; not because I had extra weight but because I had different proportions. Despite leaving the hospital weighing 10lbs less than I did when I got pregnant with Kaycie, I had more width in the hips and thighs. I have no idea what to expect this time. I've been outgrowing my maternity pants despite only gaining 11lbs total. I'm considerably larger than I ever got with Kaycie. Like, seriously larger in diameter. I have no smaller clothes that are stretchy or particularly flexible. I've been wearing Greg's elastic waist athletic shorts around the house and will likely be wearing those in the hospital, but that leads to my next question...
Something I had to deal with before that I didn't anticipate having to think about this time is the weather. Having Kaycie in November meant I wasn't surprised to go into the hospital on a nice late summer day and come out to a brisk, chilly early winter environment. That's normal over 48 hours in November. But January? This one should be easy. It's cold, right? Except I was in shorts yesterday and still debating the pants/shorts decision today. Anybody want to tell me what the weather will be like in a week and half? I did pack some baby things last night, but ended up with like 9 outfits because I don't know what to expect! Greg would be easy to pack for, but he'll be coming home to shower and check on Kaycie anyway, so he probably won't need extra clothes.
My current plan? Pack for the trip to my parents tonight and deal with the rest next weekend. Enjoy my last few hours of leisure time. Go get my baby girl, who I have missed. I haven't been told, "Shhh, Mama! Don't do that! Be nice to Kaycie!" while being shown the hand in two days. She sure is a sassy little thing. Wednesday I'll take her back to school and head back the doc. Friday I'll take her back to school and hit up the semi-annual sale at my favorite local consignment shop. Then over the weekend I'll schedule some time to freak out over going to the hospital Wednesday morning and coming home two days later with a new little potamus. Whooooboy.
The plan for this weekend was that my brother and future SIL was going to pick up K on Friday, take her to my parents for the weekend, and drop her off on the way home today. Last night Greg made the suggestion that instead that K stay at my parents and we'd go get her later in the day or early Monday morning. Since my mom has to work on Monday I thought going tonight was the better plan. We can spend the night and come back in the morning, making the drive a little easier on me. I swore at Thanksgiving that I wasn't going to travel any more until after MicroTot arrived, and I haven't, but the lure of a few more leisurely hours to finish up a couple of things, eat a nice meal, and do a little more last minute errands in the Dogwood area (on the way to my parents' house) seems worth the couple of hours of discomfort during the drive. Plus hopefully she'll still be preoccupied with her grandparents tonight and I'll have one more night of not having to sit in the floor (ouch) playing whatever or being used as a jungle gym. Seems like a worthy trade to me.
My mom called a few minutes ago to make sure I still felt up to it. My brother and Brooke hadn't left yet, they could still drop her off, and apparently my dad was concerned about me coming.
Yes, my dad gave me "the look." He's afraid I'll go into labor at his house. Or that we'll break down on the side of the road. Sigh. Apparently I'm the only one not concerned about really going into labor. Yes, I've been having some random contractions most evenings, but not consistently or often. Yes, they are getting stronger, I woke up from one last night for the first time. But even if I did start having regular contractions, I'm pretty sure I could make the hour and half drive to the hospital. If my water breaks, I'd have even more time since they'd probably have to induce contractions at that point. The hospital in Philly, where my parents live, doesn't even have OB, everybody who lives there and has a kid has to drive somewhere else to do it, usually Meridian or Jackson. It'll be ok. I can't believe my dad is worried about me going into labor at his house!
That said, you all know that I hate packing. My mom has been on me for a week or more about packing a hospital bag. Ummm... I currently have two pair of pants I can still wear with some small level of comfort. I only have a handful of long sleeve shirts. If I pack myself clothes, I'll be pantless a few days a week between now and then. Of course, that's assuming I'll be wearing the same pants when I leave the hospital. I probably won't. But what will I be wearing? Who knows. Last time I couldn't wear my pre-pregnancy pants; not because I had extra weight but because I had different proportions. Despite leaving the hospital weighing 10lbs less than I did when I got pregnant with Kaycie, I had more width in the hips and thighs. I have no idea what to expect this time. I've been outgrowing my maternity pants despite only gaining 11lbs total. I'm considerably larger than I ever got with Kaycie. Like, seriously larger in diameter. I have no smaller clothes that are stretchy or particularly flexible. I've been wearing Greg's elastic waist athletic shorts around the house and will likely be wearing those in the hospital, but that leads to my next question...
Something I had to deal with before that I didn't anticipate having to think about this time is the weather. Having Kaycie in November meant I wasn't surprised to go into the hospital on a nice late summer day and come out to a brisk, chilly early winter environment. That's normal over 48 hours in November. But January? This one should be easy. It's cold, right? Except I was in shorts yesterday and still debating the pants/shorts decision today. Anybody want to tell me what the weather will be like in a week and half? I did pack some baby things last night, but ended up with like 9 outfits because I don't know what to expect! Greg would be easy to pack for, but he'll be coming home to shower and check on Kaycie anyway, so he probably won't need extra clothes.
My current plan? Pack for the trip to my parents tonight and deal with the rest next weekend. Enjoy my last few hours of leisure time. Go get my baby girl, who I have missed. I haven't been told, "Shhh, Mama! Don't do that! Be nice to Kaycie!" while being shown the hand in two days. She sure is a sassy little thing. Wednesday I'll take her back to school and head back the doc. Friday I'll take her back to school and hit up the semi-annual sale at my favorite local consignment shop. Then over the weekend I'll schedule some time to freak out over going to the hospital Wednesday morning and coming home two days later with a new little potamus. Whooooboy.
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