Clarification

It occurred to me last night that I didn't word that last post right. I don't have a problem with people giving advice. I have a problem with people being arrogant about giving advice. Especially when they don't really understand what they're talking about.

You see, last time around some people didn't really think I was that sick. They had never had a pregnancy or hadn't had one that bad and therefore seemed to think I was either a) faking it, b) exaggerating it, or c) a big wimp.

I knew I wasn't faking it. I knew I wasn't exaggerating it. That left me feeling like I was a wimp for taking it so much harder than everybody else. Now, I've been though some painful stuff (like 9 years of chronic back pain) and I never though of myself as particularly wimpy. That's one of the things that had me almost scared of this pregnancy. I didn't know how I was going to un-wimp myself enough to deal with it. Because clearly everybody else knew more than me, right?

This time around it's so different that I'm beginning to understand that it wasn't a matter of being a wimp, it was a matter of being really really sick. Not as sick as some people have been, but certainly sicker than I think is probably considered normal. It frustrates me to think that people who didn't know any better seemed to think I wasn't. They made me feel worse about myself because they didn't understand that I was having a harder time than they did.

I don't think it was intentional, I think it was just a lack of understanding. And that's what I was trying to say yesterday. If you don't understand, don't try to make it better.