It Does A Body Good

File this under Little Details I Should Have Remembered From the Last Pregnancy (But Forgot in the Subsequent Sleep Deprivation of Caring for a Newborn)

Milk.

That's right. Moo juice.

I thought I had bad heartburn with Kaycie. Frankly, I'd never had heartburn before I was preggers with her and it took me a while to figure it out. This time around it's about 50 times worse. Every stinking time I lay down, somebody flips the switch on the flame thrower in my chest. I've been popping antacids like they're jellybeans. I'd wake up 3 or 4 times in the middle of the night thinking the bed was on fire. Nope. Just my digestive tract. It had gotten so bad over the past few weeks that I would sit in bed, so tired I could barely hold myself up, look at my pillow, and want to cry. It was hard enough to get to sleep with my knees and ankles hurting and causing major restlessness; every time the heartburn woke me up I'd have trouble getting back to sleep all over again.

Then a couple of nights ago I saw something randomly online or something (I don't remember...) and it hit me.

Milk.

Last time around this block I had a lot of luck drinking milk to calm the fires. Ironically, that same night Greg suggested the same thing. I drank a small glass of milk before bed and BOOM CHICKA BOOM. No heartburn. All night. Tried it again the next night. SHAZAM. Granted, I still have trouble sleeping because now I can't breathe, but that's a whole different can of beef jerky. It's frustrating, but not so much painful (except when the stuffy nose and drainage triggers my pregnancy gag reflex and makes me nauseous, but that's a different post I hope I don't actually write.)

So last night I drank my milk, got to sleep eventually, and slept pretty good from 1am until my psycho kid woke up at 5am. I put her back in bed (which didn't last long) and decided to go ahead and take a Claritin D so hopefully by the time I got up the next time it would kick in and I would feel remotely human. I took it with small glass of tea, maybe 6 ounces. I piddled around a little while, got back in bed, laid down, and within three minutes I shot up in bed looking for a fire extinguisher to swallow.

Seriously. Less than 6 ounces of tea triggered it. Come on.

So I got up again and drank the same small glass of milk. Sweet relief. No more heartburn. Miracle juice. I laid back down and listened to my kid reading to herself in her room, apparently by the light of her nightlight (sound familiar, Alison?). I started dozing off and of course 45 minutes later I had to get up to pee because I'd drank more than 6 ounces of liquid at that point.

And 30 minutes after that my kid decided she was done reading and wanted up. NOW. So we got up for the day and eventually I got her dressed and dropped her off at school where Ms. Jill can deal with her crazy sleep deprived mood swings.

Now the only thing between me and a coma is the decongestant, which has only had a marginal effect on my stuffy nose but has given me a fake wakey. Woo.