Thursday, September 6, 2012

Epiphany, Part 2

So yesterday I mention my need to clean our bedroom due to our treadmill purchase.



While cleaning out part of our bedroom to make room I reached an epiphany.

I have had two children. No amount of time on a treadmill is going to change that.

After Kaycie was born I held on to a lot of clothes thinking I might drop enough weight to get back into them. Little did I know I'd leave the hospital weighing 10lbs less than I did when I got pregnant. Since  then I've put all of that plus another 20 back on. But see, there's more to the story than weight...

Regardless of how much I weigh I will never fit my rear end into a size 4 ever again. Ever.  Largely because size 4 pants won't make it past my post-child hips. For that matter, I'd have a tight fit in a size 8. Furthermore, my boobs will never fit into a size small shirt ever again. Probably not a medium either. Bad thing? I'd say not. Just a fact of life.

Not saying I'm overweight, saying I'm shaped a bit differently than I was two children ago.

So I'm throwing out my entire winter wardrobe and starting over. Probably going to toss the majority of my summer wardrobe too, at least anything pre-Kaycie. Gateway Rescue Mission is about to looooove me. My clothes budget is not going to be so happy. But I don't need much, I just need a few things that actually fit. Unfortunately, I HATEHATEHATE clothes shopping.

Where's BFF Lauren when I need her???

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Epiphany, Part 1

As most of you know, I quit medicating my ADD when we started trying to get pregnant with Kaycie. That was like four years ago. What I didn't realize at the time but have come to understand in the past two weeks is there really are different forms of ADD.

First there's the diagnosed-by-a-shrink kind that you medicate. I have that. Some days are better than others. Most days I struggle to really get much progress accomplished. Some days I can't get myself together to do more than keep my kids alive, fed, and diapered. Some days I wake up and could take on the entire freaking world, get it organized and cleaned up then spend a few hours exercising and making crafts. Those days are very, very rare. Very rare.

But I did have one of those days not too long ago. I got up, made a list, and was ready to get some serious projects done. I managed to accomplish nothing. That's where the second form of ADD kicked in. I call it "Kids." My plan for the day was perpetually interrupted by my two little people who constantly need something. 

Jump ahead to this week. We bought a treadmill. Well, we ordered one, since we couldn't find the one we wanted locally. It was supposed to be here next Tuesday. I got the call this afternoon that it would be delivered FRIDAY. Fantastic. Except I needed to clean up and move some furniture around in our bedroom before it arrives. I allotted one hour from 3-4pm today to make some progress. Plan - put Luke down for naps around 2:45. Put K in front of a continuous streaming Curious George in my bed. Grab a shovel.

So what happened between 3-4pm?

Spent at least 25 minutes begging Luke to go to sleep
Changed 2 poopie diapers
Fixed juice and snack for K
Put on a load of laundry that included everything Luke peed on during his diaper change, including his sheets.
Changed Luke's sheets
Comforted K during her "I fell on the soft carpet and hurt my knee" meltdown
Dealt with the "I want Curious George, no Mickey Mouse" conundrum
Starting trying to clean up and knocked the power off to the DVR, thus interrupting Mickey Mouse
Gave up on cleaning up anything

I'm starting to understand that my inability to accomplish much of anything has less to do with my own shortcomings and more to do with external factors...