Friday, July 29, 2011


So, after a week of not having the energy to even admit it, I finally posted to my photography blog today that I'm a big failure. I made it 208 days into my 365 project, then dropped the ball. I just plain forgot to take a picture last Sunday. I was beyond tired. I was hurting. A lot. (My shoulder and neck pain has been awful this week). I barely crawled through the day then went to bed as soon as I could.

I've spent a few days wallowing in my failure, wondering why it's so dang hard for me to even do the things I enjoy during this phase of pregnancy. I know it's normal to be extra tired, but I'm exhausted to the point of not functioning, and this time around is still better than last time! If I can't even manage to continue a photography project that I've deeply enjoyed over the past seven months, how can I do anything???

I put a little thought into it and I really think my ADD has a lot to do with it. It takes me longer to work out my photography shot every day because it just takes me longer to think. Coming up with a shot, setting it up (or getting to a good location), getting my camera settings how I want them, and then processing and uploading the pictures takes twice as much energy for me as it would for most people. And that's extra energy I simply don't have right now. Any energy I produce is being sucked up by a rapidly growing MicroTot, and I'm ok with that. The little potamus-to-be needs it more than I need to take pictures. And hopefully I can get back to taking pictures again before long, I just have to remember that it's not as important as taking care of myself and my family. And anything extra I have right now needs to be used in that direction.


Allison said...

I think you're doing an excellent job being a mom and an incubator. The great thing about these kinds of photography projects is you can always start them over whenever you feel more up to it.

Hang in there little mama!

Allison said...

And just because you didn't finish the 365 days doesn't make you a failure. Think about all of the AWESOME pictures you captured in your 208 days!! I think that's totally cool.