Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Rain, Rain Go Away

I'm listening to it pour down rain outside. Normally, a nice rainy (tornado-free) day is very pleasant for me. I like the white noise effect of it. Today it's just dreary, which matches my mood perfectly.

I talked to Dr. Miller on the phone this morning and didn't hang up feeling encouraged. The truth is, I'm running out of things to be positive about. Every day I've made a big effort to focus on the good things that happened - Luke started taking a bottle, he got a tube out, a test came back negative, he was taken off oxygen... There's been little things progressing each day, culminating with getting him off the warmer table and in a portable crib yesterday. But he still can't go 24 hours without an apnea spell.

Today Doc basically recounted what we already knew, what wasn't wrong, and brought up some things that might or might not be going on. The neurosurgeon he is consulting said he couldn't determine if there was any bleeding actually within the brain or if there was any brain matter affected. He said we wouldn't likely be able to see that until the clot around the brain dissolves. He also mentioned the possibility that there could be an unusual cluster of blood vessels in that area of the brain that caused the bleed. The neurosurgeon did request an MRI which they were going to try to schedule for today. They won't have results from that until tomorrow at the absolute earliest, since the neurosurgeon reading it is at another hospital.

The problem is, of course, he's still having episodes where he isn't breathing very well and his oxygen saturation levels drop dangerously low. And he doesn't always recover on his own. He can't go home while he's still doing that. I asked the big question today - are we looking at days, weeks, or months? The answer was what I expected - they don't know. BUT, he really didn't anticipate it to be months. Which leaves us at weeks. One? Two? Three? Dunno.


latina said...

Susan, Just wanted to say that I am praying for Luke, his sister, his parents and his grandparents. Praying that he is soon home with the ones who love him. Know that you are in my prayers and that Luke is never alone; neither are you. Jesus cares and watches over you and your family. He is only a wisper or thought away. May God heal and bless you with peace that come from knowing Him.

Susan said...

Thank you so much Latina! I don't know that I would have held up the past week at all if I didn't have complete faith that God would take care of our little guy. I'm anxious about how long it's going to take, but I also know that God works in his own time and that we can't rush the healing process. We've been blessed to have him in an excellent facility with a wonderful staff. I've prayed for them a lot, too, because they have their hands full trying to take care of not only Luke but so many babies that have a much harder road ahead.

Allison said...

Susan, I'm still praying. I wish I had some kind of magic wand to wave over you or magic words to say to you to make all of this better. But I AM praying and I AM here if you need me and I DO love you.

I was just thinking about a song I make my Sunday School Class sing almost every Sunday - and I know I'll be thinking about y'all this Sunday "He's got the little tiny baby, in His hands....."