Mostly Dead

Of the two things I could post about tonight, I'm choosing to go with the funny one, because the less funny one just ticks me off again.

Remember the Billy Crystal scene from Princess Bride where he proclaims that Westley isn't dead, he's just "mostly dead?"

Jennifer and Rob have this fish. I think his name is Oscar but I could be making that up so I'll just call him Fish. Anyway, Fish is huge. As in, big enough that Rob used to feed him goldfish until I talked Fish into going vegetarian. (True story - there's still one goldfish in his tank left from when I talked to him while they were on their honeymoon two and a half years ago.) I don't know exactly how old Fish is, but we'll just say he's rather elderly.

Today while I was hanging with BFF Addyson I couldn't help but notice that fish was hanging out at the top of the tank and not moving much. I didn't think twice about it, he's not exactly active on a good day. Later in the day I noticed he still hadn't moved and went to check on him. He wasn't moving at all. His fins weren't stirring water, his gills weren't moving, and he was floating at the top of the tank in the same spot he'd been in all day.

Umm...

So first I sent Greg a text that said, "I think I killed the fish!" Then I sent Jen a text warning her that I didn't think Fish was with us anymore. Moments later she walked in the door, checked on Fish, and agreed that they had a former fish. Meanwhile Rob gets home and the first words out of my mouth were, "I didn't do it!" He was confused. Jen explained that Fish appeared to have expired. About this time I glanced over at the tank and screamed something that I'm sure was inappropriate. Fish was no longer floating in his all-day spot. He had perked up, swam over to the other side of the tank and was waiting for a snack.

WHAT??

Rob said that Fish likes to sleep during the day. I'm saying I went and checked on him and the fishy wasn't breathing. Jen walked in the door, the fishy wasn't breathing. Rob walks in the same door minutes later, the fishy was up and cutting flips. I dunno people. I don't know.