The Last Time I'll Mention It... Until Next Year

Doghouse asked if he could borrow my magic quarter next year for his March Madness brackets. I'm afraid, dear, that the answer is no. Even if I hadn't already used up it's magic, Greg had called dibs on it as soon as UNC made the finals Saturday night. But don't fret. You, too can experience the magic. And this is where I share the secret of the Magic Quarter.

You have to start planning early. Months in advance, start collecting your spare change. Not just quarters, you want diversity. I collect mine in an ancient Tootsie Roll bank, but a plastic cup works just as well. Let it build up, you'll want as many as possible to choose from.

Once the first round teams are established - and not a minute before - you can start sorting your coins. I usually wait until the last night before the brackets close to give the quarter as much time as possible to soak up it's magic. Once you have your pile of quarters, go through and check the dates on every one. I always try to choose the oldest and wisest quarter in the bucket. If you want to slant your choices, you might choose a newer quarter depicting the state where the school you prefer to win is located. I don't mess the power of the quarter, however, I go with the oldest and wisest. This year, that would be a vintage 1967. This one, to be precise:

For the first round games, I go with one flip. Heads is the top line, tails is the bottom. After that I use the best 2 out of 3 flips for each game. Be prepared, they won't all be correct. The quarter may not take the most obvious or direct route. Your faith in the quarter will be tested. But if you trust it, you will find the win in the end.

How do I know? Last year, I went from last place to 1st with the Kansas win. This year, I picked a laughable final - Michigan State against UNC, with UNC to win. Who's laughing now? That'd be me. And my quarter.

UNC was just announced the new champion. To that I say - duh. The quarter told me that weeks ago.

Note to Benji - TTHHHHHBBBBBBB! Try again next year, little man.