The rumors you've heard are just not true. We aren't really on a vacation, we are on a dangerous secret mission. We had to leave you at home to guard the house because we were afraid the house would be in danger if we were discovered. You wouldn't like it here. There is water everywhere. It's terrible. Plus the cats here are bigger than you.
Trust me, you're better off at home! We are almost done with the mission and should be home soon. Be good for J.R. and Jimmy!
Love,
Your People
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