What the Pinata?

Greg and I have made fun of the Viva Pinata games for as long as they've been out, but we'd never actually played one. Now, with the introduction of the new XBox 360 into the family, we have the ability to download free demos of many, many games. Last night we couldn't stand it anymore, we had to do a test run on the pinatas. The box just looks so hilarious!

Geezum petes, people. This is based on a cartoon??

Ok, so it starts out with you helping this hippie looking woman clean up and rebuild her garden. Cool. Once you clear enough space different pinata animals start arriving to live in your garden. Awesome, I got me some garden worms. The next thing I know I'm being told that in order for my pinata farm to grow, I need to encourage the little worms to "romance."

They need to what??

Yeah. It is what you think it is. Boom-chicka-wow-wow! So I "direct" them to each other and that sends me into a little mini-game where I have to help one of the worms find the other, while collecting coins along the way while avoiding the little red things that line the path.

So now they're being paid to romance??

Once the two little worms find each other it cuts to video of them doing the "romance dance." I'm not even making that up, people. That's what they called it. And you can go back later and view the video again from the menu if you want...

So now we're not only romancing for money, but we're creating pinata porn???

I won't even tell you the rest of it, it's a sad story of pinata inter-family relations followed by violence as gangs of other pinata move in and begin hunting, attacking, and eating the smaller ones. For the birds, you actually have to direct them to eat a worm before they are eligible to "romance." They don't tell you this until after they have you name all the worms, like pets. Here Mr. Bird, eat little Casper-worm! Seriously people, pinata gang hazing? This is based on a cartoon?? I was a bit traumatized at this point, and was waiting for Frank Melton to come busting into my house with his sledge hammer.

In all seriousness, the inside pinata jokes Greg and I have been tossing around make it totally worth it. It's a pretty funny game, and I won't even get into how many hours I spent playing, or the embarrasing hour at which Greg finally removed the controller from my hand and made me go to bed. ("But... but... my pinatas! I have to plant more seeds to feed them! I'm down to 4 worms, they have to romance or they'll become extinct!") I've been seeing a used copy of the game at Blockbuster for several weeks now. I keept telling Greg that I do NOT need to buy the pinatas, it's dangerous. It sucks the entire night away, eating my pinata brain. But it's only $14... And I just know I can do a better job of protecting my pinata worms now that I've learned to deter predators with the shovel using the "whack pinata" button!