Wednesday, May 25, 2011

On Second Thought

You know how before I said that if I wasn't sick I'd be freaking out that something was wrong because I wouldn't have that physical proof that I was pregnant? Wrong.

First, I'm in maternity clothes already. Seriously. This won't be quiet for long. Thankfully our doc appt is next Thursday and after that I'll probably make it public.

Second, there's that 9am off-ness. It's not nausea, it's not even a full-on queasy, just a not-quite-right feeling in my tummy.

And let's not forget the daily second lunches. And second dinner a lot of nights.

And here's the kicker. Today's second lunch, on purpose, is a chili cheese coney from Sonic.


But it's what the micro-tot wanted, so therefore it's what I'm eating.

I suppose the "every pregnancy is different" saying is true. Although to hear my mom say it should be more like, "It's different! You're having a BOY!" Regardless, I'm extremely grateful. I was rather worried that it wouldn't be different and I would be a wreck. As it is, except for the hot dog and the afternoon naps, I'm feeling pretty darn good. And I like that. It's also made me realize more clearly how bad it was last time. I was pretty caught up in the fog of wanting to die last time, but I do remember people telling me to eat when I was nauseous and I'd feel better. I remember wanting to punch those people in the face. Along with the ones who said things like, "If you get up and go for a walk you'll have more energy." With this one, so far, I can buy those two lines. Eating does help in the mornings most of the time. Doing things does sorta help my energy, while wearing me out at the same time. I have to be careful not to push myself too hard and remember that rest isn't a bad thing. But last time, those things didn't help. Nothing helped. And I don't think a whole lot of people really appreciated that fact.

The point I'm making is this - when a pregnant woman is feeling yucky, don't assume you know what it's like. My BFF has been suffering from pregnancy induced kidney stones. I don't want to know what that's like, nor will I be offering her any advice on how to manage the pain (although it's much better now and she's off her pain pump - WOO!) I was also careful not to simplify her suffering when it was just the morning sickness. I don't know how bad hers was, and I did tell her what helped me, but not in terms of "if you do this it'll be all better." More in terms of "do whatever you can for survival, these things helped me and may or may not help you."

This proves true with any situation somebody else is going through. It doesn't help to blow off their complaints, assume their overreacting, or minimize their situation. People are just different and we need to respect that. And that's the lesson I've learned over the past week. Pass the tater tots.


Allison said...

Ok, first of all, I don't know what the "ewwwww" portion of that post was about as I find a chili cheese coney to be something of a delicacy. Especially if you add mustard, onions and jalapeno peppers. And I'm not pregnant.

Secondly, having never suffered from morning sickness during my pregnancy, I refuse to offer advice to pregnant women at all. In fact, I'm trying to offer as little advice to people as possible. At least until I get my degree and giving people advice and counsel becomes my job and they pay me for it. =)

At any rate, I am SO glad that you are having a good pregnancy thus far. My doctor and I were talking about pregnancy last year and she asked me how I handled mine. I told her that I had felt wonderful and it was honestly one of the best times I ever remember feeling physically. She was so happy and said, "I don't hear that often enough." So, enjoy it to it's fullest. Chili coney or no chili coney.

Susan said...

It occurred to me last night that I don't really think I worded that right. I'm gonna try again. I don't have a problem with people giving advice, it's really useful when done in a helpful manner about something they understand. The problem is when people are arrogant and don't know what they're talking about!