Saturday, May 14, 2011

Overusing Bullet Points

So I probably shouldn't have posted that pic of Kaycie quite so early, based on the tradition of not "telling" before 10 weeks, but I felt like I needed to do it for two reasons:

  • I needed to vent about some related stuff and this was the best place to do it. Figured it wouldn't make much sense if you didn't know what was going on.

  • A few extra prayers never hurt this early

  • If something does go wrong, I'll need a place to vent and well, I'll do that here.

So we've told our parents but don't plan to go public at least until after we see the doc. That will be June 2. I'm guestimating a few things right now:

  • I'm pushing 5 weeks.

  • Arrival should be mid January.

  • I should start throwing up tomorrow or Wednesday.

I won't lie, I'm nervous. I know a lot of people who had trouble the second time around, some with the pregnancy and some with serious medical problems after the baby arrived. It hasn't really sunk in yet, so I'm not flat out scared, but I have concerns. Yes, I know a hundred more people who had their second problem-free, but of course those aren't the people I'm going to think about, are they? And of course every time I think about it I remember another half dozen things I've done in the past 2 weeks that I shouldn't have. Like putting out flea/tick/ant poison in the yard, taking OTC painkillers that aren't approved, cleaning the carpets, eating things I shouldn't... I know it's too early to really matter, but that's not going to stop me from thinking about it. In addition to the general fear, I have a variety of other fears right now (yes, I'm digging bullet points right now):

  • I'm likely to start throwing up this week. If I'm as sick this time as I was last time, it won't be pretty.

  • I'm going to turn my kid into a couch potato because I'll be too sick to play and go places and have general fun like normal. She'll be a Backyardigans zombie by the time I'm out of the first trimester dolldrums.

  • My dog is gonna FREAK. Like he hasn't already.

  • How am I going to travel to Memphis for my cousin's wedding in a few weeks?

  • How am I going to feed my family while I'm so sick I can't stand the sight of raw meat? (Hence the reason I have 8lbs of ground beef cooked in my freezer and at least 5 meals of pork chops frozen ready to go straight to the oven without any additional prep!)

  • How am I going to keep blogging, on both blogs, if I can barely pick up my head? I have to work to carve out time to do it now! This past week I've been struggling with the 365 project because I've been very distracted (really?) and that's sucking away my creativity. Add the exhaustion that I fear is coming and my photography project may not survive, which makes me sad. I'm really enjoying it. But even if I can't keep up every day, I hope to keep up when I can and pick it back up when I'm able.

  • What if I go into labor during one of our freak ice/snow storms. We are looking at January...
And that's just a start. For the record, I've already had to break out the rubber bands on my shorts. I remember Rani talking about how quickly she started showing with her second, and I'm going to be the same way. I remember Greg buying me this bag of rubber bands when I was expecting Kaycie. He got them for me for Mother's Day that year. I was 4 months along, not 4 weeks!


Allison said...

I'm going to start praying TODAY that you have a safe, energetic, healthy pregnancy and that you feel 100 times better than you did the first time around.

I am so excited for you and I've had a REALLY CRAPPY DAY so this good news.....well I'm just crying because I am SO GLAD to hear something positive! Awesome. Just totally awesome!

Susan said...

Glad I could help! =) You are the second person to tell me my news made a really really bad day better, so that makes up for all the few less than enthusiastic responses I've gotten! And I'm thinking that if this one isn't as tough as the last one, at least my freezer is stocked!