Dear Remote Control,
It has come to my attention that of the 600 remote controls in our house, I am rarely able to find more than two at a time, and those two usually control electronic devices that we no longer own. In order to better understand your needs and to create a more comfortable environment, I am asking you to complete this brief survey. Your honest answers will help me serve you better in the hopes that we can work together without the need to hide.
1. Type of remote:
a. Television
b. DVD
c. Tivo
d. Game System
e. Stereo
f. Other ________
2. Location of device you control:
a. Living Room
b. Kitchen/Dining
c. Bedroom
d. Storage
e. No longer on premises
f. I've been hiding for so long, I no longer know it's location
3. Frequency of use:
a. Constantly
b. Frequently
c. Rarely
d. They don't even miss me
4. How many times have you hidden in the past six months?
a. zero
b. 1-2
c. 3-5
d. 5-30
e. Just this once, but only because they haven't found me.
5. On average, how long do you stay hidden per incident?
a. minutes
b. hours
c. days
d. heh heh. I'm covered in dust and they still haven't found me
6. Which of the following best describes your reason for hidding:
a. They don't use me, they don't love me.
b. Fear of the other remotes.
c. Overuse/on vacation
d. Batteries are low... must find a quiet place to die.
e. Watching people search in vain is just plain fun. Bwwahahaha!
7. Where is your favorite place to hide and what attracts you to that location?
8. What is the one thing that would lead you to turn away from a life on the run and remain in plain sight?
Finally, I would appreciate any information regarding the location of the remote for the TV in the bedroom. I only want to provide it with a copy of this survey so that I will have the most complete data possible. I know it was available this morning when Greg turned on the TV, and I suspect it hasn't gone far. I promise not to hurt it. I only want to honor it's opinions.
Thank you,
Management
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4 comments:
Good one :)
All of our remotes are in the living room because that's where our only working TV is. There are other remotes (for the radio in the bathroom, for the Mac... yes, the Mac has a remote) but they stay firmly anchored to their repective devices.
I've tried to get rid of those extra remotes, but I'm not allowed. Even though the product in question is gone.
It explains a lot about how our house looks.
I'm not even sure what half of ours are supposed to be for. That's why I married a geek. I don't have to be in charge of that. I can barely work the one for the jumbotron. So many buttons... I swear they all get together when I'm not looking and laugh at me.
Yeah ... I'm forwarding a link to this one to my husband. :)
Stacey, I thought I was the only one whose computer had a remote. I didn't know what it was when I opened the box. I thought it came with an iPod, which would have REALLY been cool, but then I realized it was just one more remote to lose. ...
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