My mom has an appointment with her thyroid doc tomorrow to get an ultrasound and bloodwork done. I made the mistake of mentioning that to my brother, who decided having an ultrasound means she must be pregnant. He wasn't concerned about the possibility of a new addition, he was concerned about having a 4 way split of the inheritance. That would be 1/4 each to him, me, the baby, and the cat.
He immediately decided he would petition for guardianship of Football (the cat) so that he could claim the extra share. That leaves me with guardianship of the (non-existant) baby. Please note in this scenerio that my father inheriting is irrelevant, as he is expected to go ahead and finish off that heart attack in the event there is a 4th split. He avoided diapers for 35 years, I don't expect he'd take kindly to the idea of changing one now.
Disclaimer: My mother is in no way pregnant. My bother, however, is a looney-toon, and I am an enabler.
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6 comments:
i really do miss getting the weekly family updates. your family is so entertaining!
LOL
The email smack down continued for quite a while, and eroded into an argument of whether or not I was going to be at his non-existant birthday party the weekend of Sharonda's shower. My favorite highlight:
Bill - "YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR DISRESPECT!"
Me - "Is it on clearance? I only buy things that are on sale..."
He eventually had to drag dad into it, who told us both to lay off the crack pipe.
I'm really laughing out loud at this one. Bet it's fun at your house at holidays. :)
oh my gosh, that is so dang funny
I should probably tell more stories on my brother. He's hysterical. He's 4 years older than me. When people ask how old he is, I tell them he's 12.
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